FAILURE

Failure themes can occur in dreams about missing trains, muddling words, losing a race or game, or failing an examination. Very often a sense of failure arises in a dream because you have been comparing yourself with someone or something else in some way. It is therefore helpful to consider exactly what comparisons mean or provide. You may also have been feeling some level of competitiveness. Alternatively, failure in dreams might not be interpreted as a lack of energy or power, if, for example, cars fail to start or lights fail to work. Fear of failure often originates in childhood and stems from fear of punishment by parents or carers or the withdrawal of love and this fear can linger into adulthood.

If your dreams often feature themes of failure or missed opportunities, instead of focusing on what is wrong with your life, try to lay more emphasis on what is right whilst ridding yourself of the negative ‘glass half empty’ perspective on life. Losing a race in your dream, especially if you were pipped at the post, indicates the frustration and sometimes humiliation of realizing the limits of your potential.

Dreams of failing are common recurring dreams: failing an examination, getting your words wrong when making a speech in public, missing a train, etc.

Such dreams may stem from childhood fears of punishment / withdrawal of love and reflect a continuing self-programming for failure-anxiety.

If so, you need to distinguish two kinds of perfectionism: first, the sort that causes constant striving for unrealistic goals - this is a neurotic form of perfectionism; and secondly, aiming at being true to yourself, with a readiness to respond positively to inner promptings towards a fuller embodiment of your ideal self, but also with a readiness to accept and love yourself as you are. Your standards, like your clothes, should fit you.

Above all, do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed and crippled by past failures. Instead, stay in the present, and don’t accept a continual reiteration of ‘can’t5 from yourself: ‘can’t5 usually means ‘won’t5, and Svon’t5 comes from something in your unconscious that needs to be brought into your consciousness (see Childhood Recollections, sections (1) and (2)).

Example: I was in a race riding a horse but couldn’t get to the staning gate in time.

The others were way ahead of me jumping the fences. I couldn’t catch up, and one fence I came to grew to a huge height and was like a steel barrier. I couldn’t get over it and felt a failure’ (Ron S). Ron had not done well at school, had not taken any particular training, had no steady relationship or children. In his late 20s, Ron looked at his friends, married with families and steady jobs, and felt a failure. From the dream he realised he was viewing life as a competitive race to succeed. This was stopping him from fol­lowing his real interest, psychotherapy, which his family viewed as playing games. He could ride his horse into the fields and explore. He did, by going to Amenca, training, raising a family.

In general, failure indicates comparison; competitiveness; it sometimes depicts alternatives—failure is the alternative to success. So the failure might be ‘because’.

See Is there a be­cause factor in the dream? in dream processing; falling.