SEX

It is at this point that lie or she learns about touch, whether il is nice to touch or be touched, and even if touch is permissible. If, for instance, the child is handled roughly, there may be a fear of being touched, which may later manifest as a sexual difficulty.

While the original trauma may be suppressed, it will often surface in dreams when the time is appropriate. Real growth takes place when the individual is not afraid of the curiosity which allows an innocent exploration of his own body. Dreams will often allow us to explore this physicality in a safe way.

2- Dreams highlight the whole range of the individual’s sexuality. Only if lie ignores his own sexual nature and fails to appreciate his own life force do the negative aspects make themselves obvious in dreams. This is a natural attempt to balance the waking state which may have been over-intcllectu- aliscd, or over-dramatised. Contact with others then bcconies necessary; and often this need will make itself apparent in dreams. Various aspects of sex and sexuality can be interpreted as follows: Bisexuality Within ourselves we hold both masculine and feminine potentials. One is more overt than the other and there is often conflict between the inner and the outer. This can sometimes show itself in dreams as bisexuality and a need for some kind of union with members of both sexes. Castration in a dream suggests fear of loss of masculinity and sexual power.

Clothes in sexual dreams can have particular relevance often to do with the dreamer’s perception of him or herself: being fully clothed would suggest some feeling of .guilt.

Contraception Dreaming of contraception can indicate a fear of pregnancy and birth. Ejaculation/Emission The images in a dream prior to orgasm can suggest the nature of the dreamer’s attitude to sex and sexuality.

The conflicts which arise in the dreamer because of his sexual desire for someone can be dealt with in the dream state through dreaming of emission or orgasm. Fetishes Fetishes arc a fixation 011 an external object without which there can be 110 sexual act. This is a little akin to a child not being able to go to sleep without his comforter. There is some evidence for the belief that, at an unconscious level, man would prefer a life of celibacy and, by projecting his energies onto an object, he abdicates responsibility. In dreams, therefore, a fetish can highlight fear, immaturity and lack of capability. Hermaphrodite (also see Individual Entry) Dreaming of a hermaphrodite (someone who is both masculine and feminine) suggests either bisexuality, which is an erotic attraction to both sexes, or androgy ny the perfect balance within one person of the masculine and feminine qualities. Homosexuality is taken to mean the desire for sex with a partner who is the same sex. More properly, it is a desire for someone who is the same as oneself.

It is this aspect that comes across in dreams.

If the dreamer can identify what is similar to himself or herself in ways that arc not purely sexual, the dream can be fully interpreted. Incest (also see individual entry) in a dream usually characterises the need for expressed love that is, love expressed in a more tactilc way. In dreams incest can highlight guilty feelings about one’s parents or members of the family. Intercourse (or petting) The wish or need to be able to communicate with someone on a very intimate level can translate itself into intercourse in a dream.

If intercourse is interrupted the dreamer may have inhibitions of which he or she is not consciously aware. Often intercourse in a dream can mark the integration of a particular part of one’s personality; If a child is then born that integration has been successful. Kiss This can indicate a mark of respect or a desire lo stimulate the dream partner. It suggests we should be aware of what arousal we ourselves need. Masochism The desire to hurt oneself or to be hurt in dreams through sex arises from two causes.

The first is to be a martyr (to suffer for one’s ‘sins’) and the second to feel extreme emotion of one sort or another. We mav not allow ourselves to feel deeply in everyday life.

Masturbation The child learns to comfort himself through masturbation, so dreaming of masturbation is a need for comfort. Perversion When sexual perversion appears in dreams we are avoiding, or attempting to avoid, issues to do with closeness and bonding.

Phallus Any image either of or to do with the phallus signifies everything that is creative, penetrative and masculine.

It is vitality and creativity in both its simplest and most complex form.

It is resurrection and the renewal of life. Rape Any image of rape appearing in dreams can be as much to do with violation of personal space as with the sexual act. Sexual rape is unlikely to appear in the dreams of, for instance, sexually abused children. It may only appear as an image when the adult is ready to deal with the trauma. Sadism (also see individual entry) Sadism appearing in a dream would suggest that it is probably a counterbalance to the dreamer’s conscious way of being in the world. In everyday life he may be cither very timid, in which case the dream is an escape mechanism or. in having to be dominant and controlling in everyday life, the unconscious shows its need to be controlled.

Semen Dreams have an odd way of throwing up images of primitive rites and practices of which we may have no conscious knowledge. Many of these are representations of the sexual act. Semen is the sign of masculinity and of physical maturitv and is often seen in dreams as some other milkv fluid.

Sexuality in a dream, in the sense of feeling desire for someone else most often of the opposite sex is a basic primeval urge for closeness and union with that person.

It is as though we are searching for a part of ourselves that we have lost.

The other character in the dream represents the closcst we can get to that part.

If we were a fully integrated human being, we would have no need for sex with someone else, but for most of us we have a desire to be united with everything which is not part of our own ego. Such a dream, which highlights the feelings we are capable of having, provides information to enable us to understand our own needs. Transvestism This signifies a confusion so far as gender is concerned in dreams. Venereal Disease In a dream this can suggest awareness of some kind of contamination. This need not necessarily be of a sexual nature, but could also be emotional.

3- Sexual activity is either the highest expression of love and spirituality between two people or. if purely physically based, is entirely selfish. It would be up to the dreamer and their understanding of themselves to determine which it is.

Dreaming Lens: Who was having sex in the dream? Was the dream about the sex act itself, or was it just a part of the narrative of the dream? Were you engaging in sex, or witnessing it? Were you comfortable or uncomfortable with what you were seeing or experiencing?

Personal Focus: Sex is perhaps the most misunderstood of dream images. This is certainly due to the complicated nature of sex itself, both individually and culturally. When sex appears in a dream, it is imperative that you put your personal reactions to sex and sexuality aside in order to arrive at an accurate interpretation of a dream which contains a sexual element. Detaching from the thoughts and feelings triggered by the characters involved in the act of sex in your dream is even more crucial to this process. This can be difficult for many people to accomplish.

Sex in dreams can be an area of great concern for many people. While some sex dreams are experienced as pleasurable and erotic, more often than not people report dreaming of sexual encounters as troubling because of the nature of the sexual act they dreamed of or the partner with whom they were engaged. However, once examined through the language of symbols, sex loses its potency and charge, while revealing so much more.

When two people have sex, on at least some level, they are trying to get as close to each other as they possibly can. The act of sex can be defined symbolically as two separate energies attempting to merge into one. Therefore, sex is symbolic for the process of integration. If you remove any personal projections that come up around sex and how it was played out in your dream, the interpretive meaning rises above any potential embarrassment or shame. Though sometimes more difficult to accept, this also applies to sexual encounters that have societal taboos associated with them, such as those involving incestuous relationships or illegal activities.

Whoever you are having sex with in your dream represents a Character Aspect that your unconscious is telling you needs to be integrated into your personality. If you are witnessing a sexual act, then you will need to consider what Character Aspects of yourself are being expressed by the people having sex. The message of integration still applies, but it will connect more to parts of your personality that need to join forces. Perhaps a life situation is demanding different areas of your skill sets that, if combined, will empower you to be effective in a way that is currently eluding you.

This symbol can be so challenging, it merits an example to help clarify the best approach to interpreting sexual dreams. One of the most frequently reported sex dreams that people generally find disturbing centers around coworkers. Here is an example of a dream to help illustrate how to find the value of an interpretation by removing that which is distressing:

I dreamed that I had sex with a coworker while my boss watched. It was creepy in a way because I think he’s gross. But worse was that, in the dream I was enjoying it. We were in a private booth at a baseball game, the kind where they serve food and it’s all very fancy. Just as it was about to finish, the batter in the game hit a home run. My boss got up and went to the glass window to watch the game, at this point, and was cheering for the home run hitter.

This young woman was feeling very stifled at her job, as if no one really valued her. In fact, she reported that most of her colleagues didn’t even know what she did at the company. She often talked about wanting to be promoted but didn’t think that would ever happen. While the coworker in the dream was definitely not a potential sex partner, he was a self-assured, outgoing person who had no trouble verbally expressing confidence in his skills to others.

The dream is not about actually having sex with this man; it’s a symbolic depiction of the woman’s need to discover her own inner resources as represented by the Character Aspect of this self-assured colleague. If she can access this part of herself and integrate it into her personality more effectively, she has a much greater chance of hitting a home run at work. Had she not moved past the embarrassing and upsetting images of sex with this undesirable coworker, she may have missed the real message of the dream. (See also Intercourse, Oral Sex, Lesbian Sex).

Example: My lover was standing behind me, and John, my husband, was standing in front of me. I was asking John to have sex with me and at the same time thinking, “Oh, hell, if he does he will think we have something going between us.” I felt no flow towards John but felt somehow I was trying to tell my lover that I was desirable’ (Sally A). Sally’s dream needs no interpretation. Such clear dreams show that Sally is ready to be directly aware of what she is doing in her relationships.

If the sex in the dream is deeply symbolised, it suggests the dreamer is less willing to be aware of their motivations or connected painful feelings. Even though Sally’s dream was clear, it was still dealing with an area of her sexuality she was not clearly conscious of.

If she had been aware, it is doubtful whether she would have dreamt it.

Example: ‘I was in a farmyard.

A small boy climbed all over the bull. It became terribly angry. It had been chained without attention too long. Now it tore away and sought the cows.

The gates were closed, but the bull smashed through the enclosing fence. I rushed to the fence and sat astride it, but on seeing that the bull smashed it like match wood, I looked around for some safe place.

The bull charged the first cow to mount it, but so terrible was its energy and emotion that it could not express as sex. It smashed the cow aside as it had done the fence. Then it rushed the next and tossed it over its head, charging and smashing the next. I climbed into somebody’s garden, trying to get out of the district’ (Arthur J). Although this dream depicts Arthur’s chained’ sexual drive using the bull, it is still fairly obvious.

If we consider the setting and plot of the dream, as suggested above, we see that Arthur is desperately trying to avoid responsibility for, or try­ing to escape, his own sexual drive—figuratively ‘sitting on the fence’.

Example: ‘My husband and I were walking down a road. We were going in the same direction together. I started to sing with a very happy feeling but then felt I should stop because he would say the happiness was because I had had sex. I sensed he knew what I was thinking as I walked along. He then quietly began to sing and the dream ended with me smiling to myself. We had sexual cut off for four weeks but had made love that afternoon’ (Joan W). In talking about this dream Joan said she felt it slightly embarrassing to admit that sex gave her feelings of happiness. She liked to believe she was perfectly happy without it.

It is probably out of the slight conflict between her conscious attitude and her feeling of well-being after sex that the dream was produced.

See ani­mals; adolescent; affair; devil, Christ, Shadow under arche­types; bag; banana; bed; example in bite; black person; breasts and penis under body; bud; candle; cane; castration; ceremony, ritual; clothes; compensatory theory; cuckoo; cup; dam; dance; third example in danger; defence mecha­nisms; dragon; drum; emotions, mood; ejaculation; second example under evil; founh example under husband in family; feelings; homosexuality; horns; hostility; example in door under house, buildings; hypnosis and dreams; insects; jun­gle; kiss, left, right; lift; second example under light; man; masturbation; mirror; murder; nest; oval; pole; prostitute; purse; rape; refrigerate; religion and dreams; first example under reptiles; sadism; sex while asleep; wordplay, puns.