Relationships

(1) Personal relationships in dreams are always important. They fall into two categories: first, those that refer to actual waking-life relationships; secondly, those that depict relations between the conscious ego and other parts of the psyche. Meetings with strangers will nearly always belong to the second category: the strangers will be parts of your psyche that you have not yet got to know very well. And even where there is no doubt that the dream is asking you to take a serious look at an actual real-life relationship, you should bear in mind that the quality of your external relationships may be determined by the way your conscious ego relates - or fails to relate - to other parts of your psyche. For example, a man who does not acknowledge the feminine side of his own nature may have very unsatisfactory - perhaps very superficial - relationships with women. In other words, when a dream shows you in relationship with an actual real-life person, it may be inviting you to look at the relationship with a view to understanding yourself better: how you relate to other people reveals yourself (e.g. are you projecting on to the other person some unacknowledged characteristic of your own?).

Patterns in dreams correspond to patterns in your conscious life, or else - occasionally - a dream may present a pattern for you to follow in your life instead of old patterns. For example, a man may relate in dreams to very feminine women. This may represent an established pattern in his waking life, in which case he is being asked to reassess that pattern. Perhaps he is attracted only to very feminine women because he is projecting on to women his own repressed femininity and needs to

integrate his anima. On the other hand, a dream of relating to a woman in a very bold and assertive manner may be the unconscious way of telling a man he needs to display his masculinity’ more.

See also Sex.

An antagonistic or belligerent relationship in a dream probablv indicates a need to be reconciled with the other, whether the other is another person or another part of yourself.

In the dream do you control, or want to control, the relationship? Perhaps the dream is a descriptive one, simply describing how, in fact, you do behave; in which case, your unconscious is probably asking you to review your situation. Perhaps you need to learn to let go, and trust people more. On the other hand, the dream may be a prescriptive one, telling you what you ought to be doing: perhaps you have been too weak and unassertive in the past. Do you tend to be, in your dreams, a mere observer, watching other people relate? Well, it is a good thing to observe, whether what you are observing is external relationships or internal relations between parts of yourself. But the process of self- discovery may be accelerated if you resolve to participate more in future dreams. Try it. Relating with your shadow may be much more revealing than just looking at it.

(2) There may be impersonal or spatio-temporal relationships between dream items or between one episode of a dream and the next. For example, an earlier dream episode may symbolize whatever is the cause of what is symbolized in the following dream episode. (But do not assume that this causal relationship always exists between different parts of a dream.)

If a person is taller than you (in a dream), this may mean that you see that person as superior to yourself.

If the person in the dream represents some part of your psyche, the meaning would then be that your conscious ego tends to submit to this other psychic component.

Most dreams depict human relationships in one way or another, but some can highlight intimate relationships with a lover or partner.

Dreams with romantic themes are attempts to answer your questions about relationships and the nature of love. As your dreaming mind searches for answers, it will review your past and present relationships, and try out other people or even celebrities as lovers or partners in order to give you a glimpse of how different your life could be. Such dreams are significant because they can reveal things about your relationship of which you may be unaware in waking life. Because of this, they can be extremely enlightening. Some dream analysts will interpret dreams about relationships as examples of wish-fulfillment or as opportunities to get intimate with people you cannot be close to in waking life. Although this may be true in some cases—we all share the universal longing to be loved—it may not apply to all such dreams. The dreaming mind can use relationship symbols for many different associations.

This chapter focuses on dreams with a romantic theme. For dreams that concern relationships with family members, friends, celebrities and other people, see FAMILY; FAMOUS PEOPLE; GATHERINGS; PEOPLE; POSITIVE EMOTIONS. For dreams with an explicit sexual nature or content, see SEX.

People that appear in your dreams, especially strangers, tend to represent facets of yourself. In this sense, seeing the truth close to you can be impactful. Relationships and interaction that you maintain with this oneiric group of people shows the harmony that you keep within you. Also, it will manifest those parts of your personality that you do not bring to light. For example, if a man dreams of a woman, it could indicate that he needs to accept the feminine side of his nature. In the same way, if it is a woman that dreams of a man, she may need to behave in a more masculine way. Needless to say, the dream could also be representing a situation from real life and your feelings with respect to it.

The way in which the people act will tell you much about future events.

If they are friendly, it foretells happy times; if they have bad intentions, you should be cautious because an disaster could occur in your surroundings.